high in the crackmonkey's tree

Had to come in early today, for a variety of reasons. I figure I'd print out the six handbooks I'll need for my class next week. I start the print job on the "good printer" and come back in a few minutes to check on the status (like you do). Half of the first handbook had printed and the printer was giving an error that the waste toner bin needed to be replaced.

It is 6am and no one is in the damned building.

So I trudge down to the "bad printer" that has only a tiny bit of memory and hence can only handle printing one handbook at a time, the same printer that perpetually gets jammed when I used the handy spiral-perforated paper. And I start to print the second half of the first handbook.

Cue much snarling and cursing.

It is now 7am, I've finally gotten something to print on the "bad printer" and I'm realizing that I'll be lucky if I get two handbooks printed this morning.

I am in a foul mood. I require coffee.

Luckily, people are now in the building. Some of these people include the head of Facilities, who says he'll take a look at the waste toner bin on the "good printer" and see if he can replace it.

He can't replace it, 'cause he doesn't know where the new ones are 'cause he's the head of Facilities not just a Facilities guy. Like he's supposed to know where the bits and parts live; no really I understand. But he shakes down the waste toner bin to give me a little room to work.

This actually works. Holy hell I love technology.

It is now 7:40. I have until 8am (give or take 5 minutes) to completely tie up the printers with my print job. This is why I come in early to do it, see? So I now have two of the big handbooks printing on the "good printer" and the three smaller handbooks printing on the "bad printer" which oddly enough seems to now respect my authority. (knock wood)

We're off to the races, kids. Let's see if I get anything accomplished in my two hours at work this morning.

ps send doughnuts and coffee. kthxbai.

I hereby decree that everyone must do the following:

1. Dye their hair red. Blondes may have more fun but redheads are sassier.

2. Drink a wee dram of good whiskey. The definition of "wee" is open to discussion.

3. Make out with a cute girl.

That is all. You may now commence the genuflecting and ritual adoration.