Pretending to be Simon

[quesarah]

How is your Howitzer?

Comments

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Is that some sort of slang for penis?

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Simon? You look... different.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

No, I get the sound of words stuck in my head; particularly if they rhyme.

But it can be slang for penis, if it'd make you feel all tingly and happy.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the beard wasn't working for me anymore. I've decided with the Pope on the way out, I no longer need to impersonate Jesus.

Um, and sodding bastards and other gruff-sounding words.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

You have rendered me absolutely speechless.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes it does. And to answer your question, my Howitzer is splendid, thank you for asking.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

And by "me" I of course mean me.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

I am legion.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

It isn't Screw With The Guy Coming Off Psych Meds Day or something is it? :)

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to say that you were only impersonating Jesus to get sexual favours from the Pope?

Because I am sure you can come up with a slightly less cliched scheme than that.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy to hear that.

*checks item off to-do list*

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

No, that's next Tuesday. :)

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Well, I could but why bother when the old one works so well? Plus, it's the easiest way to get the old bag of bones down on his knees.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Wait, hold on, do we get to talk more about my howitzer now?

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

That's good me, I'm glad we had this chat wiht myself.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Bless my howitzer Pope! BLESS MY HOWITZER!

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Finally the terrible truth behind the cult of simon becomes apparant. It isn't a Cult that follows the teachsing of Simon. It is a cult where the members gradually become Simon.

I must warn the world!

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

There was a time when people took pride in the creativity of their Pope seduction. Now it's just wham bam thank you, Pope.
Still, stops the old codger from praying on people I suppose.

[distraction77.livejournal.com]

It is purple and marbled and I'm fondling it right now.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

*ROFLMAO*

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh, sure! How often do you clean the barrel?

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

*oooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooo*

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Really, there's no time to waste is there? He might try to get some last-minute canonization in or something.

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

QWTF? I just woke up and feel like I have fallen down the rabbit hole. Could someone explain to me what is going on?

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

no Q! There should be NO Q there!

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

Now I understand why I have an urge to drink tea and all around me there is a scent of lemon soap. Do you suppose that also explains my attraction to women?

[king-ghidorah.livejournal.com]

So you would have us believe... obviously, this was some secret messaged implanted to send a message to your Secret Masters.

[themongkey.livejournal.com]

Fnord!

[woe2you.livejournal.com]

Simon's Howitzer: a matter of Papal Can(n)on.

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Nah, that last is all you. Although Simon's ability to draw lesbians to him will be useful to you.

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

It is simply proof that the post was made by your evil robot double.
Query: What the fuck?

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Surely he couldn't be that shameless?

Query: What the Fuck?

[i_kender]

...too much sugar. You have all consumed way too much sugar.

Which is of course all according to the plan! *cackles* And tomorrow I shall be Pope! All hail the Bearded One!! Simon says, kiss the ring!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

It is too late. You are the only one left. There is nobody who will listen to you. Fall asleep. There is no need to be afraid. Simply fall asleep, and everything will become very clear to you.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

BEHOLD MY AWESOME AND TERRIBLE POWERS!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Hail Eris!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

There is always a Q.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Just you make sure you put it back where you found it.

Undamaged this time please.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Special hell. I'm telling ya. Special hell.

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Wait... Is that Donald Sutherland coming up the path? His beard seems strangely familiar...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

Is that a.... howitzer?

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Have you ever seen Citizen X?

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Yes.

You wouldn't believe the range and elevation I can get with this thing.

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

No, why? Have you sent him after me too?

[blankbadge.livejournal.com]

...How do you load the ammo?

[madenglishbloke.livejournal.com]

i was thinking more along the lines of special ED, but theyre pretty much the same thing...

[madenglishbloke.livejournal.com]

im just hoping its not a breech loader - could be messy...