I am so over my job right now that I realize that I have started to get over being over my job, and I am settling into a full-bore apathy that is beginning to drain my black, black soul.
I've had three supervisors in the two years I've worked at Ivgn--not my choice, but I've rolled with it. The trouble is, all three of those supervisors worked on different projects. This means I've had to jump projects right as they're getting interesting and hand them to someone else. In one case, the project just withered and died even though I'd generated really nice data. The most recent project I'm working on is at about the halfway point. I've got a good formulation but need to run a lot of assays. I'm almost positive it will go to another person, who will then finish up the grunt work and take it to market.
It's not fair. I know I sound whiny, but I don't care. I could have taken those projects to fruition and used it to pad my HR file nicely. But it's not to be. And I feel supremely pissy about it.
You don't sound whiny to me... you sound like someone frustrated with spinning their wheels.
Face it, friend. You are exceptionally talented. You have a rare set of skills and traits. You are a biologist with enough physical science skills to compete with chemists. You have an M.S. but the skill set of many Ph.D.s. You are creative, a good collaborator, and have strong communication and leadership skills. And the projects that should be building your C.V. have been crapped on by business decisions that undermine your success. Being pissy is understandable.
Have faith, though. You will make it work for you.
Getting that job offer last week, while out of the blue, really has me thinking. It would be much more of a challenge and would be a tremendous opportunity for professional growth. I'd have to work my tail off, as anyone in a startup knows, but the potential is substantial. It's one of those odd twists of timing that I was offered it now.
You do what makes you happy. I find my work is an emotional flip flop. I was really digging my work just 2 weeks ago when I had a lot of projects going and had some overtime (just like the $$$, not the extra hours) but now....this week...ugh. I'm not digging it. I am really cranky this week about work. Something about my creative side trying to escape. It wants to laugh and play, not sit at a computer and do coding. I don't have a lot of projects right now either because we have a production freeze coming up (they always freeze promotions to production around the holidays). Then there's this coworker G who bugs the hell outta me. I know it's not really his fault and has to do with me just not liking his style. He seems to think that he's some genious and he's always coming up with the little project plans but rarely has to do the things in his project plans besides boss people around. That's what it feels like. When he asks for something it's not in a friendly manner but more in a you-must-do-this-for-me manner. I don't have a problem with my other coworkers when they ask for stuff but it irks me to no end when G does it. I am technically on two teams within my department: infrastructre (G's team) and factory planning (doing development work for our factory planner tool). But usually I am doing mostly factory planning stuff which I really, really enjoy. I even love the people on that team. I HATE infrastructure. It's so boring and dull and G's my team lead on that team. I'm going to make sure I get that point across to our new manager (we go through managers like we have a tree of managers growing out back or something). I've already told him that I enjoy the development work and not the boring ifrastructure stuff. Anyway, we'll see what happens. I guess I'm just annoyed at this email I got today from G making it sound like I never let him know what's going on when this one time (this week) I didn't realize he wasn't informed on something because all of the conversation took place via phone and in person rather than email (which I would normally forward to him). Big flippin' deal. I want to go home and I want my girl to go home so that we can sit back, watch a movie and eat bad stuff. Isn't eating bad stuff the solution to all emotional problems? It is.
Well, G sent me another email which sounds like he's not really mad so I'm a bit more calm about it. I just didn't appreciate his tone in the first email. If he had used smilies, I'm sure it would've contained the little fuming mad ones. But now he's calm and so am I. Now I can get back to doing work. Yes, work is what I should be doing. *sigh*
I'm sorry to hear G is giving you such trouble. Team leads who get bent out of shape over what they perceive as their power and authority slipping are awful. I'll bet that's what it's about, anyway. And it isn't cool. He could have informed you in a calm professional manner.
Usually I'm reasonable in reacting to things like that, but days like today I really don't have the energy to play the office "make sure your boss looks good" game. Feh.
Bloating is okay as long as it's done in moderation.
I would substitute the beer with wine. Mmmm wine. I had a glass last night just to relax after work.
My coworker L came up to me and apologized for being partly at fault for the whole email thing yesterday since he's the one that told me to hold off on G's request because he needed to do some testing. Anyway, he pointed out that he came back from lunch and saw the email getting snottier and he felt bad. So, there you go, I didn't just read into G's email. And today he invited everyone but me to go to lunch. I can't stand him. I wish I could work with other people. *sigh*
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timeasmymeasure
Trust me I understand.
Date: 2003-12-09 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 10:18 pm (UTC)It's not fair. I know I sound whiny, but I don't care. I could have taken those projects to fruition and used it to pad my HR file nicely. But it's not to be. And I feel supremely pissy about it.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 11:03 pm (UTC)Face it, friend. You are exceptionally talented. You have a rare set of skills and traits. You are a biologist with enough physical science skills to compete with chemists. You have an M.S. but the skill set of many Ph.D.s. You are creative, a good collaborator, and have strong communication and leadership skills. And the projects that should be building your C.V. have been crapped on by business decisions that undermine your success. Being pissy is understandable.
Have faith, though. You will make it work for you.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 08:46 am (UTC)Getting that job offer last week, while out of the blue, really has me thinking. It would be much more of a challenge and would be a tremendous opportunity for professional growth. I'd have to work my tail off, as anyone in a startup knows, but the potential is substantial. It's one of those odd twists of timing that I was offered it now.
you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 09:18 am (UTC)Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 09:30 am (UTC)Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 10:25 am (UTC)Usually I'm reasonable in reacting to things like that, but days like today I really don't have the energy to play the office "make sure your boss looks good" game. Feh.
I want cheese. And salt. And some starch.
Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 10:32 am (UTC)me too. i think it would make my entire day better. really and truly. is there something in the air this week?
Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 10:39 am (UTC)Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 10:53 pm (UTC)Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 11:03 pm (UTC)*everything a premenstrual gal needs to bloat up her life. whee!*
Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-10 11:38 pm (UTC)Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-11 09:23 am (UTC)I would substitute the beer with wine. Mmmm wine. I had a glass last night just to relax after work.
My coworker L came up to me and apologized for being partly at fault for the whole email thing yesterday since he's the one that told me to hold off on G's request because he needed to do some testing. Anyway, he pointed out that he came back from lunch and saw the email getting snottier and he felt bad. So, there you go, I didn't just read into G's email. And today he invited everyone but me to go to lunch. I can't stand him. I wish I could work with other people. *sigh*
Pass me the nachos.
Re: you go, girl!
Date: 2003-12-11 09:35 am (UTC)Sorry G is still being a punk. At least L is backing you up, to some extent. I hope work gets better for you, hon.