high in the crackmonkey&#39;s tree

You forgot the evil laugh *mwuhahahaha*

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I'm tired of the whole crappity crap that seems to be going around too. Let's soak the world with Super Soakers. That probably won't make them smarten up but it'd feel so nice. We could even fill them with lemon juice. "Ow, my eye! Citrus hurts ever so much!" Hee!

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You're clearly a criminal mastermind who should be rounded up and held indefinitely without due process as a suspected terrorist.

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Does this mean I won't be able to smuggle the lemon juice over the border?

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No. But you will be able to smuggle any number of explosive agents across the border.

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Well, I suppose they might do some damage too. Just not as gratifying as lemon juice. *sigh*

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Heh. I like the twisted way you think. :)

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joebanks.livejournal.com

aye, but who ate the monkey's brains?

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You know, that's considered a delicacy in some parts of the world ...

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among-the-waves.livejournal.com

Can't sleep... ~~clowns~~ monkeys will eat me!

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I once heard they eat some of them while they're still alive? Tell me that's an urben legend. Ewwwww! Monkey brains. *puke*

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The main source of this knowledge is one of the Faces of Death videos. FoD is notable for the staged and fake events among its many "true" tales, so I would not consider it a reliable source on live monkey brain eating.

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Tchah. You've clearly been watching Braindead.

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Never seen it.

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Worth a look then. Comedy horror by Peter Jackson previous to LotR, about evil monkeys whose bite turns people into brain-eating zombies.

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Any film that includes the line "I kick ass for the lord!" has some merit, right? Especially if it also includes zombie destruction with a lawnmower. And randy undead.

BTW-- it was released in the US as Dead Alive.

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Ahh, no wonder it didn't ring any bells.

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I was once told that the US version of Brain Dead was significantly different to the version the rest of the world got to see. But I've never been able to nail down any details.

It is amazing, watching it, to understand how on earth PJ was ever able to continue having a career in film though. :)

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Tchah. If you'd ever seen Over-sexed Rugsuckers from Mars (and I shit you not, it exists) you'd never disparage another film again.

I admit he was trying to be Sam Raimi and failing, but it was at least moderately funny.

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missedith01.livejournal.com

It's no good trying to reason with him. He once told me that he had no intention of ever watching Return of the Killer Tomatoes! He is a culture-free zone.

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This is worse than the Tomatoes.

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I have a sneaking suspicious I have seen Oversexed Rugsuckers... But for the life of me I can't remember... When I was a teenager, and watched my way through every cheap and nasty horror film I could find in the video shop.

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I knew there had to be a reason for your air of a man who's seen too much...

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Oh, the horror.

Mind you, I do have an abiding love for B movies, and many of those 80s/90s straight to video horror flicks were at times quite charming. Critters for example, or Tremors. Or any Zombie movie. The first, oh, what's it called, scary mortician guy with little silver flying ball things of doom...

Though admittedly for every one that was semi-decent, you had to watch 3 or 4 turgid wrecks where the best you could hope for would be the sight of some boobies.

Some of them were very very funny though.

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The first, oh, what's it called, scary mortician guy with little silver flying ball things of doom...

Phantasm. Late 70s, better ideas than execution.

Don Coscarelli lately brought us the wonderfully silly Bubba Ho-tep, perhaps his best film yet.

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Phantasm, yes. THat was it. I remember liking their take on the whole alternate universe thing.

Odd how Phantasm spawned something like 4 or 5 sequals though. Number 4 (or 3) was on tv here about 6 months ago, and it was laughably awful.

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In fact, I think this film got him his first US film deal, The Frighteners, which combined several scary things-- Peter Jackson's direction, the guy from Reanimator, and Micheal J. Fox.

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Now, the Frighteners is a surprisingly excellent movie, and I totally get why PJ was able to move on from there. But Brain Dead... And taht other film, the name of which I forget, with the Zombie grandmother stuck in the basement... Oh crap, I hate when I forget the names of movies.

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It's actually Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles that I thought would have killed his career. Especially Meet the Feebles. But in a world where critics have talked positively about insane Canadian director David Cronenberg, a man who gave us Rabid, The Brood, and Scanners, I feel like any over-the-top cult freako director has a shot at auteur status.

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Ohsweetjesus! Meet The Feebles! In my entire life there have only been two movies that I have been totally unable to finish watching. One of these was a low budget film the name of which escapes me, but it was so dull I think I actually clinically died for a few minutes before I switched it off. And the second was Meet The Feebles.

On paper, it sounded good. In practice, t'was quite possibly one of the ugliest things any man has ever created in the name of art.

Ych. And other assorted noises of disgust.

Still, Cronenberg. I might be alone in this, but I rather liked Videodrome.

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I like many of Cronenberg's early films. But polished art, they are not. And they are not the kind of film that will garner critical praise.

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Ach, critical praise is hugely over-rated. :) Can't remember the last thing I actually liked which also garnered praise from the critics.

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among-the-waves.livejournal.com

I can't deal with call-in radio programs. They make my brain melt when someone calls in with a stupid question. A call-in program about gay marriage.... hmmm... that's right up there on my shitlist along with Christmas carols, bad chorus music, and obnoxious commercials.

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These weren't even call-in programs, they were regular morning dj's who simply had to talk about the "big event."

Call-in radio hosts will go directly to the 3rd circle of hell. I can think of nothing more evil than provoking morons to rant, particularly bad is doing so first thing in the morning.

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I've heard some really good ones where the host gets all manner of cranks to call, then mercilessly mocks them on-air. Good fun.

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You sure you weren't listening to a Bush administration meeting with the press?

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among-the-waves.livejournal.com

Even the ones on NPR are intolerable. I've never ventured into the land of AM talk radio.

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