I hate this company

[quesarah]

Yet another annoying memo email from the Head Dickspank in Charge of Moneygrubbing. This time, he's telling us all that we're spending too much money on travel-related expenditures so we are to suspend all non-customer related travel immediately. (what about conferences, dickspank? do they count as customer-related?) Also, we're to suspend all catered lunches for internal meetings at all sites. What do lunches have to do with travel? He finishes up by saying "let me reinforce the message that we, as a team, need to create a culture where we treat our shareholder's money as if it were our own." Oh just shove another $50 up your ass and talk to us when the cash has gotten back into your system, you whore.

Comments

[spacey-lee.livejournal.com]

Why doesn't he just say that he doesn't want any money spent for anything? That would simplify things. :-P

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

He's gotta be all business fake touchy-feely with it. He can't just be direct, he's gotta whinge and bow.

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

Head Dickspank in Charge of Moneygrubbing,/i>

Does that all fit on the business card?

[wafflelips.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. Someone needs to make one of those meme generating thingies that makes obnoxious business cards for people.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Clearly there is a pressing need.

[wafflelips.livejournal.com]

Clearly. Because why else does lj exist?

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

He has a Great Big Important business card. Oh yes, his penis is enormous.

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

lol. *suddenly recalls scene in American Psycho with all the guys comparing shiney white business cards*

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

If it's not cars, it's tools, if it's not tools, it's business cards, if it's not business cards, it's office location...

...for guys like these, it always comes back to penis size.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Always amuses me how these assclowns send out their reminders via email now. Gutless cowards generally, too scared to tell people these thigns face to face.

He probably spent all day thinking up that email. Oh yeah, share holders money at work.

[wafflelips.livejournal.com]

Actually, he probably told his assistant to come up with the email, as guys like him generally don't write any of the mass emails they send out.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

It gets better. One of the trainees told me that a guy in her division replied to the email asking if these changes apply to the executive level. He got a nasty reply from CEO telling him that "the changes are across the board, there's no need to be cynical."

Really? You've given us every reason to be cynical, you pisswad.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Amazing how the higher somebody gets promoted up the corporate ladder, the smaller their sense of humour becomes.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Particularly when it comes to the subject of cash, the lice-ridden pustule-covered chimp.

[wafflelips.livejournal.com]

That's just hysterical!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

So, forgive me for asking a stupid question, but what then does he actually do?

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

He goes to scientific meetings to tell everyone how we're the one-stop shop for pharmaceutical company's supplies.

Eeeedeeeott.

[wafflelips.livejournal.com]

CEOs don't really do anything useful. They wheel, they deal, they run companies into the ground and make huge salaries.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Sounds about right.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

There seem to be rather a lot of them around these days though. Where do they all come from? I mean, there can't be that many rocks getting turned over.

[wafflelips.livejournal.com]

They are cloned in MBA schools.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

It's the aliens. They're being sent down as the advance scouts for the invasion fleet.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Ah well, in that case it is your duty as a human being to eliminate this creature immediately.

I recommend acid.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

*salutes* Right-o, commandante!

Say, is this a job for the LJ-Elite?

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Of course, you do realise that at your trial, arguing that you had to brutally murder your boss with an acid bomb because simon said so, will probably not make for a terribly good defence?

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

"Simon Says" is a very well-known motivator in this country. Children are schooled from preschool in the principles of doing what Simon says but not what he doesn't say.

Flawless defense! Watch me go!

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Oh heck, here we go again.

Note to self: Must stop inciting violence. At least until I officially become the head of my own cult.

(Although, on a serious note, that's actually quite on the money isn't it? That comment about children in North America being very much schooled in the doing what Simon Says mentality?)

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

I think all kids are taught that to a certain extent. Children have to learn rules and boundaries, even if in adolescence we expect they'll disregard them for a while.

On a serious note, we are all wired to do what we're told. Witness Milgram's experiment.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Yes, good point. All children are taught that way, and it's essential.

I guess the problem must be with what those rules and boundaries are, and who is setting them, and why they're setting them the way they are.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Which brings us back to Dubya, Tony, the CEO of my company and all the other pestilent fuckwits with a bit of power.

Ah, the circle of lj.

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

the circle of lj

Aye, I must admit, I do worry sometimes that I might sound a bit like a stuck record in livejournal-land a lot of the time. Given my pre-disposition towards ranting about the same things for extended periods of time.

I just wish the fuckers hadn't twisted the system so much that it's become virtually impossible for a decent clever human being to get into a position of power and influence.

I mean, if I thought for a second that I stood a chance of getting elected anywhere, then I'd go for it. But I'm not so foolish as to think that I'd have a chance in hell.

[biogeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Start locally. Even small changes on the local level are important. If you can positively impact peoples' lives then you are doing some good in this world.

I've just started a book called "The Wisdom of Crowds" that I'm reminded of, for some reason. I'll tell you a bit about it when I've read more.