high in the crackmonkey&#39;s tree

just so it's on the record: i do like maple donuts an awful lot. but my absolute favorite is toasted cocount (which, really, very few places have, so i usually have a maple dip anyway). so i only kind of disagree. i'm really and truly NOT a bad, mean, psychotic, kitten-hating, fish-microwaving, spandex-wearing, evil person. i promise. *grin*

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I do solemnly avow that I have never seen

virginmartyr1 wear spandex.

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yes, but have you ever really seen her eat a maple donut? do we have any real proof that maples are almost her favorite?

i don't think we have to honor love-of-donuts-other-than-maple-diversity. i think that's taking tolerance a little too far.

and pepsi sucks.

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i promise that if you hand me a maple donut i will eat it. have you ever thought about the fact that you haven't seen me eat a maple donut because you've never given me one? you also haven't seen me eat a toasted coconut donut, but you probably still believe that it's my favorite. now that we're on the subject, i haven't seen anyone here eat a maple donut. so you may all be lying. lying liars even.

pepsi does suck. coke is a trillion billion gazillion times better.

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*hand over heart*

I never ever lie about maple.

Pepsi sucks.

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you're making that up. everytime we hang out, i eat at least *one* maple donut. Hell, we had maple donuts at the cookie party on Saturday. And you refused them. Everyone saw you refuse. The lies have to stop now!

(I'm feeling really silly right now...)

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i don't think we have to honor love-of-donuts-other-than-maple-diversity.

Um, hello? Jelly donuts? Old-fashioneds? All donuts are beautiful in my sight.

It's just that maple is maple.

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Actually, the best donuts are cake of any kind. Forget the other kind. They aren't as good.

Powdered cake. Maple covered cake. Chocolate cake. Chocolate covered cake. Cinnamon covered cake. Glazed cake. Yummmmmmmmm.

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Blasphemer!

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Yes, I'm evil.

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Ooh honey, don't I know it. ;)

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I think the special will open your eyes and heart to the beauty that are non-maple dip donuts. I'll send you a prerelease copy. Study it. There will be a quiz.

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there is also a sensitivity and diversity training designed around the program. please consider attending. it will further open your hearts and minds, and continue the process of acceptance and tolerance of those that enjoy other kinds of donuts. it's not to be missed.

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We're all about opening hearts and minds to the beauty of the entire donut spectrum.

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i believe that donut love falls on a continuum, or spectrum if you will. very few people are at one end or the other of the spectrum, loving only ONE kind of donut. while there are varying degrees of which donut a person chooses to favor, love, or is most drawn to, i believe that people fall somewhere along this spectrum, sometimes choosing maple dips, sometimes glazed, sometimes old fashioned or cake. this is natural behavior and should not be regarded as "abnormal" or as an illness that can be cured. we should practice acceptance and tolerance toward people regardless of where they fall along the donut continuum.

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We should organize a Donut Pride Festival. We could have it in the park. Dunkin Donuts and Tim Hortons could be our corporate sponsors. There would be Donut Drag (where one kind of donut dresses up as another, sprinkles being the favorite way to dress up). It'd be fun and uplifting!

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WHEEEE!!!! donuts and the people who love them would flock from far and wide to attend. it's be a smashing success. entertaining and an important step in breaking down our donut-ist society and working toward a world free of donut discrimination.

i am ashamed, but i have never had tim hortons. i don't even think i've ever seen or been in the presence of a tim hortons. is this a midwestern or canadian thing? i would like to try tim hortons since it seems to be a very tasty donut establishment. please advise.

many thanks,
your friendly donut pride festival co-organizer

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spacey-lee.livejournal.com

Tim Hortons is indeed a Canadian chain named after...wait for it...a HOCKEY PLAYER! Yes, Tim Horton was on the Toronto Maple Leafs before playing for Buffalo. He was killed in a car accident on the highway in my hometown but his donut chains live on. (see my image)

I would be at Donut Pride in a heartbeat. Would sell my belongings just to get there. To sample the donuts of the world.

I will have a hard time with this tolerance thing. Why can't people just eat maple dips and make it easier for me to like them?

I will sometimes eat a sprinkle donut. Just sometimes. I rinse my mouth out with soap afterwards.

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I will have a hard time with this tolerance thing. Why can't people just eat maple dips and make it easier for me to like them?

I think all this non-maple-phobia springs from your own natural desires for other types of donut. Instead of feeling ashamed, you should embrace and celebrate your openness to other donut types.

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